Staring down 30....years old....

So, my birthday is coming up in just a few days. I am going to be 30 years old. I would like to take a minute and write about how I feel about it.! ; ) But, I don't want to bore you to death. So by all means, you don't have to read this-but, you never know it might be entertaining.

Twenty six was the hardest birthday for me. This is when I realized that time was actually going by and that I was closer to 30 than 20. I am just starting to notice my face is starting to look older. Those cute freckles I used to haave that seemed kind of youthful now just look like I have really uneven skin tone and brown spots. I have never been a big fan of heavy makeup, but apparently I need to look into it. I have also been noticing that women become old ladies and men become distinguished looking, however, at a certain point eventually mens noses and ears seem to out grow their bodies.

I am not really afraid of getting older, all those times that older people said "oh the time just flies by." And I thought to myself, "Oh they are soooo old, it will be a really long time before I am that old." Now I look back over the last ten years especially and think, "Wow! it is really incredible how time goes by. Lately, the coolest thing is that I have actually learned a lot along the way! I am always saying to people, "I used to think this and now I know better. " For example, I used to look at people with young kids two or three years old and think "why can't they control their kids better?" or "I would have disciplined him a LONG time ago. That sort of thing. Now after having children and experiencing other times in life it is nice to look back and think that I have actually learned from the experiences that I have had. I share my brain tumor experience with WAY too many people-BUT this is only because it was such an incredible learning experience. (and something that I think is very interesting) I don't tell people so they will feel sorry for me or anything like that. My perspective of life changed during that time. I was able to forgive people and be patient like I had never been before. Suddenly, I didn't feel like swearing at the bad drivers on the road. People who had offended me weren't my enemies, they were just other people who may or may not have meant to hurt my feelings. I learned about how much Heavenly Father really cares about us and why he wants us to treat others with kindness and follow the example of his Son. I have sometimes forgotten how this felt. Sometimes I still forget, but I always remember eventually. It is nice to remember how my heart was changed because of that experience. Another thing I have learned is that life was not meant to be perfect. Not even kinda perfect. I think I got the wrong idea in YW thinking that after you got married in the temple to a returned missionary, life was a breeze, and all you had to do was sit back and enjoy it. Not that I don't enjoy it, I just never anticipated it being so much work when I was in my teens. I wish I had enjoyed being unmarried, instead of worrying that some of my friends were married a couple of years before I was married. I was so silly. I had that whole disney princess thing engrained a little too much. You never saw the part where Cinderella and the handsome prince actually have to co-exist.

I have to write a word here about how great my husband is! I don't know if he will ever read this. I am not complaining about my choice of spouse. He is great! He can fix anything, he is such a fun dad and he is a great provider. I love him and will love him forever, but I didn't enjoy single life like I should have. That is all I am saying.

Sister Hinckley was one of my favorite people to look up to. She never focused on the negative, Ever optimistic were both she and the prophet. Something that I have sometimes struggled with in my life. Anyway, one of my favorite books is by Sister Hinckley called Small and Simple things. It is just a book of snippets of wisdom from her experiences in life. These are a few quotes from this book that I really like....

Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

The light of Christ brings peace to the troubled mind, rest to the weary soul, solace to those in sorrow, and joy to those who walk uprightly.

She was such a smart person!

Anyway, there is a peek into my feelings lately. And how I feel about turning 30.

One more thing....

Is anybody else sick of this music??? I am. I promise I am going to change it in the near future.

Alone......

So the kids are both asleep and Jason has gone to play basketball. Alone time...what shall I do? I think I will write on my blog and post some pics of the kiddies. My last post was about how tired I have been lately. I think I may have solved my overly tired all the time problem. I think it has to do with refined sugar. How sad this makes me, because I live on chocolate chips and M & M's! The last couple of days I have really been avoiding sugar. As in, I have not been snacking on the candy that I usually snack on all day. Am I admitting this out loud? It's true. I would rather eat candy type food all day and no real food. But I think I might be ready to actually change my habits. I have always known that I should, but have never had motivation. But if I can have energy and not feel like I constantly need a nap-I guess it will be worth it. So the last couple of days I have been so much less tired that I am going to do an experiment. I am going to avoid candy for another week and see if this has been a fluke or something. Don't worry, I am still going to eat ice cream, so it is not like I will be a totally different person, just no actual candy- maybe it isn't too late to avoid type 2 diabetes......

I can't believe tomorrow is already Friday! I say this every Thursday night. Olivia and Liam keep me busy all week and it is great. I love to be busy. But I wish I could keep them little longer, the time seems to be flying by. That darn clock never stops!

Olivia started dancing lessons, which she totally LOVES. She has been dancing at home since she could walk. She started a couple of weeks ago and has lots of fun.

Olivia and her friend Tennille at dance lessons. Aren't they sweet?

Olivia practicing for dance at home.

William is a busy little guy. He is all over the place. He was stationery for so long that it is wild how much and fast the kid can move. His two favorite places to play are the clothes washer and the dish washer.

Olivia used to do this exact thing. She would climb up onto the dishwasher door. Liam seems to have the same fascination with the dishwasher. If I am doing the dishes he is right there to get in on the action.

I guess I will do the dishes, before I go to bed. It depresses me to wake up to a dirty kitchen.

Lately

If I look a little tired in this picture, it is because I am! Having two kids is really starting to wear me out! I hardly ever sit down it seems like. I don't feel like I have time to do anything. I used to wake up like clock work every morning at 5:45 to work out. Now I am lucky if I can pull myself out of bed at 7:00 when Olivia usually wakes up. I think it is mostly because my sweet baby doesn't sleep through the night yet..... He wakes up at 11:30 and 3:30. By the afternoon, I am so tired I can barely walk.

Anyway, enough whining about being tired, (Amy Jeppson-you are a saint! Anybody that can have 4 kids under the age of 4 years definitely deserves that title.) It was time to post some pics of my sweet kids, that are growing up so fast! William is a little giant as you can see. He is crawling all over the place. He has a cute crawl. He pushes himself along with one foot while the other knee is on the ground. He can move VERY fast.

The bad thing about his mobility now is all the tile in this house. He smacks his head on the floor regularly. No concussion yet. Thankfully.

He pulls himself up on the furniture and thinks he is pretty big stuff!

My little Olivia LOVES taking pictures. She got a pretty good one of me and Will, except for my face is cut off.


My little PRINCESS. She loves anything that has to do with Princesses. She watched Ever After with me after I told her that it was a Cinderella movie. I even squeezed in a 20 minute nap.

Olivia has started dance lessons and I got her a little violin to get used to the idea of playing. I didn't have my camera last week at dance lessons, but tomorrow I will get some pictures to post.